A…. is for ‘A letter to Manuel’

Posted on April 1, 2012

5


My friend Anthony linked me in my YIM box to politely demand I take up a bloggy challenge. 26 Days. Blog beginning with each letter of the Alphabet.

I accepted.

Now with 3 hours and 14 minutes left until the 2nd of April, I’ve decided to do a re-post. Manuel was a stalker critter who used to commonly practice my developed art of comment box domination (CBD’s) back in the ‘Yahoo 360’ day.

Dear John Manuel, with as many foul odours and crispy, sharp, short ‘PISS OFF’s’ that can be mustered….

I’ve had a really wonderful day.

I slept all night.

I woke up feeling fresh and revived.

I had a glorious morning out and about doing my Lou Lou business, mostly which involved shopping for things I DESPERATELY NEEDED (like Melts and shoes).

For the later part I danced around my lounge room singing along to outdated 80’s tracks with my broomstick (my main method of transport).

You won’t believe how scrunched up my nostrils got when I saw that I had received yet another message from you, declaring how very ‘Sweet, Beautiful, Lovely, Sexy and Very Passionate’ I was.

First my nose first went red, then it went white. Everyone knows (or knows now) that white nostrils when scrunching ones nose means the circulation has been completely cut off. This is a bad sign.

It seems you have been extremely creative, copying and pasting your messages to every Australian lass you could get your cyber paws on (We were almost knocked on our collectively Charming Australian Arses when we discovered your wonderful ability to cut and paste – most certainly an Art Form.)

SLY is too selfish to marry you, and 1/3 your age at 21.

SUZIQ has a family she adores, and I know my father will not accept any form of livestock as payment to secure my hand in marriage.

It does seem, you are far too intelligent for us.

In light of this, we won’t tease you by bothering to take up your many requests to YIM.

I collaborated with my aussie counterparts to come up with a strategy and we thought we would pitch in and buy you a blow up doll until you can find someone who will suit.

It may be made in china, however, we will take the tag off and stick one on that says ‘Made in Australia’ to show you how dedicated we are to stalker satisfaction.

Please provide us with your postal address at your earliest convenience.

Regards,

Not yours at all, ever,

Miss Lou Lou

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